The Baron was on the train this morning with some of the most nausea inducing hipsters he's ever seen and it took all of his considerable strength to keep from throttling them to death with their own fucking red converse sneakers and goddamn retarded fedora hats with their stupid little satin things wrapped around their penis horking heads and those shit-blistering tight black jeans and those stupid chain wallet things that The Baron thought were only for d-bags in high school.
And another thing? Where do these smarmy, mac-glass wearing frog raping, namby-pamby, emaciated hipster "men" find those hideous, skeletal, coked out, pale as shit, buck toothed women?
And how come they all talk like a bunch of shit-faced assmasters, all high pitched and with too much inflection and then a ton of high nasal laughing?
Are they always high on paint fumes or are they laughing like retarded hyenas on purpose just to annoy the shit out of people?
Furthermore hipsters, do you think The Baron is threatened by the way you look and act? Is The Baron's narrow little mind supposed to be blown when you step on the train looking like an Ethiopian marathon runner on a crash diet? Well you know what hipsters?
FUCK YOU!
The Baron isn't intimidated by your shit!!! So cram your oversized headphones back on your gangly little skull and pump some indie / punk / utter horseshit music into your tiny, insignificant brain.
The day is fast approaching when The Baron will no longer abide by your constant, grating dick-wash and on that day you will all suffer a fate worse than death!!!!! The universe is a cold and uncaring void of pain and suffering but it will certainly make an exception for The Baron and an example out of you!
(Also, as a final insult Apple will go out of business the very instant you're gone.)
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