The Baron's Mailbag 001

Dear Baron, My friend and I were having a heated debate over whether Lithuanians or Italians are the superior race. I pray that you will be able to shed some of your infinite wisdom on this topic. Yours in glorious beer, The Jet



Wow, The Jet, you're not off to a very good start. Notice anything about that sentence THE Jet. That's right The Baron didn't slay the Queen's vagina and earn his baronentcy to be called Baron.

Anyway, The Baron digresses. The question of Lithuanian versus Italian superiority is a complex legal and social issue. Lithuanians are tall and stately gentlemen with preposterously large genitals while Italians are pizza chefs and video game plumbers with pot bellies and mustaches (their only redeeming quality).

But don't take The Baron's word for it. Have a look at the Italian flag: Hmmm, kind of bland. Could probably use some sort of ferocious animal like an eagle, or a game hen, perhaps eating a snake of some kind. Oh wait, someone beat Italy to the punch. You'll never guess who. Ok, The Baron will tell you: it's Mexico! That's right, Mexico has the better version of the Italian flag. Good lord!Now let's have a look at the Lithuanian flag: A ferocious tiger and some hoots! Wow! Now that's what The Baron calls a flag. Run that thing up a pole and some bitches are going to get pregnant. The Baron thinks that pretty well settles the argument.