Car Brands The Baron Can't Believe People Buy: Saab

What can The Baron even say about Saab's other than look how the name is spelled. Two A's, are they serious? The letter A has never been cool. Everyone knows K and X are the two best characters. They should have called the company Xaab or Kaab or better yet, Xaak, or Kaax (sounds kind of like cocks so pretty cool).

But seriously, why do people buy these fucking shitboxes?

They look like a shoe, drive like a go kart and after 2 years every single one of them starts making that annoying whining sound that doesn't ever go away. Oh yeah, and they're pricey as fuck.
If you're going to spend 35K on some european cum wagon, why not just buy 3 puegeot's instead? Then when your car shits the bed in four years at least you'll have two replacements instead of a glorified hatch back.

What the christ were those assmasters at saab thinking when they designed these cars? The typical saab looks like a Dodge Intrepid had sex with an AMC Gremlin and forgot to mention that the condom broke. I mean fucking balls, could these cars be any uglier? Were they trying to appeal to the hatchback demographic or something? If they were that would explain a lot because literally every pederast and horse raper drives a car with an ample tailgait.

The worst thing is that those shitfucks in Sweden (or where ever they hell they make these rolling abortions), know full well that their cars look like a preschooler's drawing of a boot. How does The Baron know? Because they've been sneakily changing the design to look like a fucking camry.
Then there's the slogan, Born from jets. That's about the gayest tagline The Baron has ever heard. Jets have basically nothing in common with cars apart from the landing gear and both being able to move. I guess their rationale is that people think jets are cool, and saab does make fighter planes which should be even cooler. But hold your accolades. Have you ever seen what the jets they make look like?

Shit-tits! Thing look like a pencil with a bunch of triangles stuck to it. What's the matter, couldn't make a real jet? Seriously, I bet you anything that plane's favorite sport is soccer or possibly women's basketball.Now let's have a look at a real, American jet. See the difference? Two engines, sweet lines, hell that thing is even kicking the ocean's ass.
In conclusion, just because Jerry drove a Saab for a bit on Seinfeld is no reason to go out and buy one of these honey-wagons (slang for septic pump truck). Literally everyone is going to think you're a douchebag, and they''ll be right.