There is no God!

Munk yourself? Is that supposed to be sexual?

Just when The Baron was starting to feel like humanity wasn't careening through a senseless void of cold gas and deadly, deadly radiation, constantly clinging to a rocky ball full of cruelty and violence, 20th century Fox had to go and pull this shit.

The first live action / animated chipmunks movie was a theatrical abortion of hackneyed jokes and nauseating levels of topical humor. That there will be a sequel to this abomination is unequivocal proof that there is no guiding principal in the universe (or that he/she's a complete asshole).

The 80's cartoon version of the chipmunk franchise was a boner stroking shit-fest of biblical proportions. Even as a child, The Baron was bored by their predictable antics and terrible voice acting. The show was certainly no GI-JOE or Transformers or even Heathcliff. Alvin and the Chipmunks was a tired, poorly animated cluster-fuck about some singing rodents and their exploitative "father".

It is implied but never explicitly stated that Dave raped and killed the chipmunks' mother while they watched and then conscripted them into a traveling musical group so that he could blow the profits on cheap hookers and gas-station biker meth. That he made them wear shirts with no pants speaks to a probable pederastic relationship between the struggling musician and his young prisoners.

That there will be two recent movies based off this wildly inappropriate material is an injustice to the movie going population and indeed all sentient life in the universe.

At least The Baroness hasn't netflixed this shit yet.....