The Baron's Word of the Day : Coprolite

The Baron's vocab challenge word of the day is "coprolite"

Allow The Baron to provide a concise yet perfectly descriptive definition:

Coprolite (n) ; Fossilized shit.

That's right, petrified crap. That it is even possible for crap to become fossilized is both shocking and intriguing to The Baron.

Shocking because it implies that dung beetles are doing a less than adequate job of consuming feces. The Baron means, what are our tax dollars paying for? Are these insects unionized or something, like the teamsters? Is there one beetle for every 3 paychecks being collected? Or, do they assign 4 bugs to a mound of shit that one bug could handle and then the other three just sit around smoking cigarettes and complaining about minorities? But enough of that.

This information is intriguing to The Baron because many of his um, leavings, are worthy of immortality both for their design, and sheer magnificence.

So readers, The Baron has another favor to ask. Think of a location near you where poop might easily become fossilized. This can be a tar pit, bog, muddy river bank, dry lake bed, inland sea or volcanic ash pit. Have you thought of such a place yet? Good!

Next, send The Baron a prepaid USPS box...you know, the flat rate kind? One of the big ones. In 2-4 weeks you will receive an official The Baron Brand Sunrise Steam Log vacuum packed and on dry ice. Take this pre-coprolite to your designated location and bury it not less than 3 feet below the ground.

Make sure to mark the spot, and while you're at it, buy a nearby plot of land. Make sure that at least one branch of your family lives there for the next 80,000 years or so remembering to pass down the legend of the petrified log.

When the allotted time has passed, your ancestors should dig up the (hopefully) fossilized dung and mail it to the following address:

The Baron
c/o The Immortal Space Tyrant's Fetching Wench
The Invulnerable and also Invisible Space Zepplin
Everywhere at once and always watching, 00001.

P.S. Postage will be one trillion dollars, so better start saving.