The Baron in Brief: Cars The Baron Can't Believe Anyone Buys

Today's victim is.......the 1998 Cadillac Catera.

Good, koala bear stabbing christ, what in the fuck was Cadillac thinking on this one.

The Catera represents the trifecta of backwards decision making in the automotive industry.

1. Horrible design: Cadillacs are supposed to be nice right? So why does this thing look like a chevy lumina euro edition with a different logo slapped on it? The Baron is pretty sure an exotic retardation virus was sweeping through GM when they approved this eye-sore.

2. Horrible name: Just what the fuck is a catera? Is that supposed to be cute or something? Seriously this name sounds like something that grows on your eyes when you're in the jungle for too long.

A quick web definition search reveals:

The Cadillac Catera was a mid-sized automobile that was largely a rebadged version of the Opel Omega MV6 made in Rüsselsheim, Germany.

and

A badass Cadillac mook car.

The Baron has no idea what a mook even is! (Seems to have been taken from Caribbean English, in which it is (was) used to refer to a gullible person). But an Opel?!! A fucking OPEL!!!!????

3. Just a godawful attempt to get younger people to drive caddies. At this point there was no rapper / rapper-wannabe market for escalades because there were no escalades. Hard to picture some west coast thug 'rolling dirty" in this POS.

There just so happens to be a 1998 catera up for 6000$ at a used car place near Boston. It has 58,000 miles and was garaged. However, don't get too excited. Even the most retarded person will only drive a catera for 10 miles before they abandon it on the side of the road. That means that this car has had 5800 different owners, or has been towed for 57,990 miles. Buyer beware indeed!