The Simultaneous Death of Two of The Baron's Favorite Daily Sights

It is with a heavy heart that The Baron would like to report the death of two of the most beloved features of his daily walk to work.

RIP : Vomity, the unnaturally persistent vomit stain.

Back in mid July, The Baron was surprised and delighted to find an enormous puddle of maroon vomit on the sidewalk on his route to work. The color and the intensity of the stain made a strong impression on The Baron and seemed to speak to the fragility and beauty of life. The next day a strong downpour swept through the metro area and The Baron feared that Vomity had lived up to its ephemeral goals and like a sand castle been lost to the ebb of time.

Amazingly, Vomity survived this assault by that bitch nature, and would endure many more insults over the coming months. Vomity managed to stay vivid red through into September and had only begun to fade by the beginning of October. This morning The Baron nearly skipped up the sidewalk with anticipation of greeting his old friend and was brought to his knees with anguish when he realized that Vomity..........was gone.

RIP : Gully, the seagull carcass.

Imagine The Baron's unbearable grief when he discovered that Vomity's younger sibling, Gully had disappeared in the same hellish evening.

Gully came on the scene more recently as a freshly dead seagull carcass atop a mulch bed mere yards from Vomity. The Baron could never tell how Gully came to be, but suspects he ate some sort of stupid shit, like a plastic bag or a bunch of used condoms. Whatever beautiful forces conspired to place Gully in The Baron's path will never be known.

This morning, fresh off the heart-crushing sorrow of Vomity's transcendence, The Baron looked hopefully to the mulch bed on which Gully had rested so elegantly for some 3 months, only to discover a loose mound and some gull feet sticking out of the ground.

What cruel messenger from the depths of Hades doth managed to bury fair Gully?! Oh the torment! Lo the fiery daggers that do stab at The Baron's fragile heart! If only The Baron t'were permitted to comprehend the evolution of these paired master works it t'would truly be an importune life he lived!