HOLY SHIT!!! Could that be the best tagline of any advertisement ever? The Baron thinks it is, and that's why he wants a Hobo-Hacker for every day tasks like chopping jive turkeys and slashing at vagrants.
This knife looks like it could take down a super-tramp and The Baron knows from experience that they're nearly immortal.
Allow The Baron to highlight some key phrases from the description:When you're out in the wild, you never know what circumstances you'll find yourself in. That's why you should always take along this warrior hatchet knife. It's unique 8.25" blade combines the chopping power of a hatchet with the slicing power of a knife to get you out of even the toughest jams. Features a razor-sharp 420 stainless steel blade and individual finger-ring knuckle guard. Includes protective sheath and Zachary Crockett® collector's certificate of authenticity.
Holy fucking cow! This knife might be the ultimate red-neck accessory. But let's be serious. What kind of son of the soil is going to use this on a bear out in the wild? More than likely cousin Merl is going to end up with a nasty gash after a night of chugging Early Times and Natty Ice out in the above ground pool. However, The Baron bets that would make a hell of a story to impress the lady-scumbags down at the drag race / swimmin' hole.
The Baron will give one rapeosaurus egg to anyone who can figure out how to attach it to the end of a Victorian style umbrella so that The Baron can slash, hack and chop scumbags at a respectable and gentlemanly distance.
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