We've all had the experience. You're walking 20 feet behind a person heading into your building. They get to the elevator, and press the button, thus closing the doors prematurely, even though they knew you were a few feet behind them.
These cock-gagging assmasters are some of the most despicable pieces of shit in the known universe. You know they saw you, they know they saw you, but for whatever reason they're in too much of a goddamn rush to hold the doors for you. Or maybe they just needed some privacy so they could cram a can of paint up their ass.
The Baron calls these people : Slated For Death 0001 (SFD-0001). Under his glorious, eternal regime, a crack team of forensic scientists will scour over all existing evidence of past infractions and crackpot accusations placing appropriate names on the Condemned list.
The Baron will stamp each week's list with the tongue of a freshly killed SFD-0002 (doucehtard) and the warrant will be complete.
Each Friday at noon, The Baron will spit roast 5 elephants and provide 20 casks of ale to get spectators angried up for the main event.
The week's condemned will be led into a sunken arena containing a Rapeosaurus Rex, the king of Cretaceous rapists. Over the course of a week, as the elephants and ale are comsumed, the Rapeosaurus will laboriously, and methodically rape each prisoner to death with its massive, toothed phallus.
Many an SFD-0001 will know what it is to have their ani / vaginae ruptured by the phallus of a Rapeosaurus that week.
But don't take The Baron's word for it....duh da duh!
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