As if the media hasn't embarrassed itself enough already with this whole twitter bullshit and reporting iPod releases like they were the second coming of quilted turlet paper, now they've traipsed even further into the gaping vagina of infotainment.
"Survey reports 52% of businesses think swine flu outbreaks will be more severe this fall."
Are you shitting The Baron? What kind of butt-blasting, bicycle raping horseshit is this?
How is this even a stat?
Doesn't 52% mean that the businesses surveyed were actually coins the media was flipping in their mucus cocoons down by the sewage treatment plant?
Furthermore, why in the name of feces would they even run a survey like this? It's like asking a bunch of monkeys if the recession is going to end this year (Note: This comment does not pertain to The Ape Lord and his cadre of fanatics, The Baron intended no offense Chancellor Pickles).
For instance, The Baron can come up with some other stats which are equally as valid:
52% of Hobos think there will be either more or less hotdogs in the dumpster this winter.
Taupe will be the new hot color this fall, reports iron workers local 309.
The Baron predicts a sharp uptick in models trying to put their growlers all up in his face in 2010 (Actually, this one is not ridiculous at all, The Baron just wanted everyone to know).
This is why The Baron tries to ignore literally everything the media reports. They're a pack of cummed-up shitbags and for some reason they can't even tell they're being fucktards. It's like members of the press are unable to see their own image when it's displayed on TV and hence can't see how assmasterish they come off.
Wait a second......Can't see their own image on TV......Fucking Horse Nuts!!!! That makes them Robovampires! Right!? Right!? Fuck, fuck, fuck!
The Baron is heading to radio shack to buy a galvanometer and some metal stak.... er, rather antennas and he commands you to give him at least a 45 minute head start. How did The Baron not see this sooner...Fucking Sparkheads!
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