PDS's are most often encountered on trains, buses and aircraft although they reside in nearly every location that contains doors which open periodically.
Here's the situation. A cockmonger steps onto the train. They sit down. 4 minutes or more before their stop is reached, said assmaster stands up and crowds about the door like their genitals are on fire and they're waiting in line to hump an old west style horse trough.
Every extra minute they spend anxiously peering out the doors before their destination is reached makes them exponentially more of an assmaster (figure 1).
But wait! you say. What if the person in question is in a big rush and needs to be the first one off the conveyance?Haha, oh naive reader, that's the bitter smegma of this whole crusty phenomenon. The PDS never, The Baron repeats, never needs to be the first person off the train. You see, their MO is to make sure people who are in a rush, or who are late get stuck behind a stinking herd of plebes.
So you see, PDS's are no better than leaky sandwich bags full of expired bull semen and should be treated as such.
I don't mind door blockers. What really gets my goat are the people who don't get up until the train/bus has come to a complete and utter stop. Then they mozy on up to the door as glacially as possible, the better to prevent you from getting to your final destination in an expedient manner. This is especially egregious on buses. Bus rolls to a stop, Douchey Mcdouche stands up and walks down the aisle slower than humanly possible, he/she takes 20 seconds to descend each and every stair, and all the while you're waiting for the bus to get moving again as snails and the elderly pass by. Makes my blood boil!
ReplyDeleteAlso, you used the wrong version of "they're" in the 3rd paragraph. For shame!
Hmmmmmm, The Baron has taken your comment into consideration and he's come to the following conclusion.
ReplyDelete1. Buses are for plebes, choads and dickmasters.
2. God gave you elbows for removing the slow and elderly from your path.
3. Choads is one of the funniest words in the history of words. Look at the way it's spelled! HAhaAHA WTF!