2 Types of Car Accidents That Are Gender Specific

Male: The synchronized slam into an overpass support column at 120 miles an hour: http://www.boston.com/news/globe/city_region/breaking_news/2007/10/at_least_one_de.html

This news story is always titled "police suspect racing led to fatal accident". Give The Baron a fucking break! When a pair of cars simultaneously momentum-fuck a thick slab of concrete at the maximum speed of a souped up Toyota shit box there can be no question as to whether there was racing going on. This is the classic male accident type the "There's a pedal for slowing down now!!??". For some reason, young males, especially scumbags, have an instinctual need to reduce themselves to a chunky red goo oozing out of a space which is seemingly too small to contain an entire person. In the olden days this usually involved a thresher / bronco / stage coach accident. Now we have the modern convenience of multiple ton, high velocity gooification machines, otherwise known as cars. No female has ever been the driver in one of these accidents, or for that matter the passenger, because when you're racing for the recognition of your 6 dicktard friends, you don't want some huge flappy vag slowing you down.


Female: The drive off the roof of a parking garage: http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/06/was_springfield_garage_from_wh.html

Here's another popular news story "car lands upside down after parking garage plunge." What happens is the driver forgets that the car is in reverse or that the car is in forward or which pedal is the brake and which is the gas, or a combination of one or two with three. This is a classically female accident because of a sad phenomenon The Baron likes to call the "Why the fuck are you driving an automatic car using both feet!!??" Literally the only way you can accidentally hit the wrong pedal is if you keep your left foot on the brake and right foot on the gas. This is goat-fuckingly wrong and yet an infuriatingly large number of women drive this way. What's worse is when you point out how stupid this is, they say something like "Whatever....what's the worst that could happen?".


P.S. If you read the story, you'll see that the police were trying to blame the parking garage. You're going away for a long time you goddamn parking structure!!!!