The Baron's Educational Forum: How To Not Look Like A Retard: 3 Common Word Mistakes

Today The Baron would like to provide a valuable educational forum to try and keep his readers from committing language mistakes that make them look like fucking cretins. The 2 words and one phrase The Baron has chosen today are nearly always used improperly and will make people think you're a simpering ape.

1. Expresso

Jesus dinosaur raping christ! The Baron feels like this word is always used incorrectly and especially by assholes. Here's the real spelling:

ESpresso

See that "s"? Yeah that's how it's supposed to look. Fuckheads confuse the English word "express" with the Italian word "espresso" meaning pressed coffee. See? It has nothing to do with being fast or having a lot of caffeine (actually espresso has less caffeine than traditionally brewed coffee) so anyone who uses this bastardization is doubly retarded.


2. Electrocute

The Baron realizes that even a little shitfaced six year old can pronounce this word, but that's not the problem in this case. What is a problem is that people seem to have no fucking idea what it actually means even though it's all but spelled out in the fucking word itself! Most plebes believe that this word means to shock. My, my are you a retard if you think that. This word is actually a combination of two others (unlike the previous example). Do any of its components look familiar to you?

Electricity ( a term implying the passage of energy by charge movement)

Execute (a term indicating that a person is to be killed)

Electro-cute TADA!!!!!! To KILL with electrical current!

Well howdy-fucking do who would have thought that this one means exactly what it says it does.

3. Picked my interest

Holy shit is that ever wrong. How can you pick interest? Can you stick your finger inside your head and touch an abstract concept evolved from wet sacks of salt sending electrical signals to each other? If you can, you're probably some sort of dangerous mutant and must be eradicated.

Let The Baron enlighten you, the phrase is "piqued my interest". See that funny, kind of French looking word at the beginning? Well guess what? It is a French word meaning to arouse....as in your interest. Do you really, really hate the frogs and not want to use their language? Well then say it has aroused your interest because if you use pick instead, you'll look like a total douchebag, unless you're talking to a total douchebag who also doesn't know the difference.

Well there you have it. Now stop saying this kind of shit in front of The Baron or he'll shove a stoat up your ass.