The Baron Heard The Most Obnoxious Conversation Ever This Morning On The Train

So The Baron was sitting on the train this morning, scowling and glaring at strangers when a pair of asstards sat down next to him. Mind you there were plenty of open seats. One dickbag sat a seat away, the other dick bag looked around for a while and then basically sat in The Baron's lap.

Now The Baron understands that from time to time, random women are going to feel irresistible urges to take his lap for a ride. But douchey men?! Obviously The Baron's ire was at near explosive levels at this point.

And then....and then, the conversation.....

(In loud, unbelievably prickish voices)

Assholefaced-cretin : So did you talk to Steph this weekend?

Butthole-covered cum enrusted assmaster: Yeah she kept complaining about having to go back to Yale.

Assholefaced-cretin: I can totally understand, Yale is a shithole. Why couldn't she get into Berkley?

Butthole-covered cum enrusted assmaster: I know, totally. I mean it's not as nice there as in Santa Monica but at least there aren't as many Mexicans. But anyway I told her that she made her bed and now she has to lie in it.

(chortling laughter) ((also both were wearing suits and one had a hiking backpack on.)) (((The Baron despises hiking backpacks they are for elephant-handjob-technicians)))

The Baron was literally shitting with a mixture or rage, contempt and blood lust at this point. He has heard some pretty awful douchebag conversations in his day, but this one took the cake for a number of reasons:

1. Both of these cock-mongers resembled Spencer "The Otter Fister" Pratt.
2. The hiking backpack previously mentioned.
3. The suits.
4. The sound of their goddamn asshole voices, like an episode of Laguna Beach.
5. Mentions of California being superior. Literally every white person wishes they lived there.
6. Guess who's on the train at 630AM along with The Baron. Mexicans. Literally just The Baron and a bunch of Mexicans on their way to work. Anyone with half a brain could see that we were the only three non-hispanics on the train. The Baron's close proximity to these meat-piles made him nervous that there would be some guilt by association.

There you have it. Fucking cockbags ruining The Baron's commute yet again.