Monday, June 8, 2009

Twitter is the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard of.

Are any of you tweeting right now? Well you know what, you might as well be licking a rivulet of sweat out of the crack of Roseanne's ass because twitter is just as retarded.

Remember AIM? Twitter is the same damn thing only you update the away message every two seconds. Why the fuck do people bother with this shit?

Is your attention span so short that you'll do anything to be the first to know that the exalted Baron just took a shit that looked like Oklahoma (the pan handle anyway)?

Even the home page of twitter pisses me off.

One of the bloated cock baskets can be seen tweeting in the background "Just landed".

You know who gives a shit if your plane landed? Not a fucking soul. Unless your corpse is roiling in searing jet fuel and white hot aviation grade aluminum, not a goddamn person cares that your plane landed.

What the fuck is happening to this country?! Are we becoming that damn stupid? The fucking Bhutanese are going to walk in here and stomp our asses. You know why? Because we'll be too fucking busy tweeting our friends about the funny smelling gas that just came out of the dog's ass to resist!

And don't get me started on the media's reaction to twitter. They've jumped on every damn tech trend since Tom Brokaw made this famous prediction in 1999:

"Napster is destined to fade into obscurity and I think if you look closely you'll find that every person using the Internet is an invalid or sodomite."

Look it up, it happened.

Now the cock suckers are so hypersensitive to new Internet tech that they can literally lift "companies" from shit-soaked obscurity to imaginary riches overnight. The problem is that the media as a whole is one of the most cock-bendingly retarded industries in the entire world.

I'm sick and tired of some smoking hot tit-chassis grinning her fucking face off and telling me that another moronic piece of alligator smegma is the latest hot trend.

You know what news media? Fuck you. Fuck you with the hose of one of those awesome cement trucks that pumps the shit all over the place. And let that truck be full of blended rat vaginae (haha, the spellcheck actually suggested vaginae over vaginas).

Except you Francis Rivera of 7 News Boston, you cute little ball of sexfullness. The Baron spares you......under one condition......(Even the internet is too clean a place to type this).

Anway, this horse shit has got to stop!

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